Met Life wants to offer me ‘a strategy for managing my life’ (I’ll do the strategizing dude, why don’t you try out the implementation for a change?)
Airtel wants to call me at least thrice a day when I am on roaming, precisely when I’m taking a well deserved siesta, watching a movie or listening to my favorite song, 'to take feedback on their services'……@@####, Need I say more? Now if you’ll pay for my roaming charges please?
My banks want to appoint an investment advisor to help me manage my money:
We believe the stock markets will still rise Ma’am
Sure, I’m sure Harshad Mehta believed that too
Hehe, You are funny Ma’am. We are not Harshad Mehta – we have done analysis and have experience in this field
Err, what’s your background? Are you a Certified Financial Planner?
No Ma’am, (chest heaving out, evident pride) I am an MBA from Mahabharata Institute of Management, and I have been in this role for the past 6 months …I will send you literature too Ma’am…now if you look at Downthedrain Mutual Fund…what phenomenal returns Ma’am..Shall I send my junior to meet you Ma’am…he will bring all the papers
The receptionist at my beauty parlor (he’s male btw – what do you call a male receptionist ?) wants me to undergo ‘spa treatment for my damaged hair’ when I ask him for a shampoo. Or else, at least buy the most expensive shampoo he has (One of the numerous L’Oreal varieties, all exorbitantly expensive!). As I leave without making a purchase, he volleys that they have a discount on the combo pack for ‘problem skin and hair’. Touche’
Every bank in the country wants me to take a personal loan – very cheap, miss, interest rates will rise in a month miss….
My mom’s LIC agent calls me early morning each day (9 AM – I just begin dreaming then) to tell me about the latest ‘best scheme’, when the only scheme my mind is willing to acknowledge is sleep, sleep, sleep.
My neighbourhood kirana shop helpfully volunteers with the latest ‘blemish reducing cream – top class, just like Shehnaz’, when I ask him for toothpaste.
Salma, my maid in Bangalore, wants to teach me how to make pasta (the one with kadi-patta in it…straight from Mysore), how to assert myself with my sweet landlady, how to keep my room clean, how to rear the fledging sapling my flatmate picked up on an impulse….
My Mom wants me to get married, buy a house, wash my face every night, learn how to cook, read less, not bite my nails while I read, drink less coffee, lose some weight, eat some more of the gajar-ka-halwa she made only for me, be less stubborn, curb my short temper, be less trusting, …..take charge of my life…wait a moment, I SHOULD TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE WHEN EVERYONE WANTS TO TELL ME HOW TO RUN IT?
7 comments:
Hilarious piece.
Very true. The way we are pressurized
by these MNC MBAs,
to buy stuff which we don’t want
with money we haven’t got
would drive us insane
before driving us bankrupt
lol i can see ur pestered by these ppl too. Imagine to my horror when one day i wake up and the nice people at HUTCH have awarded me free Caller Tune for 2 weeks...guess what song they picked.............
Black Eyed Peas -- My Humps
I rest my Case....
PS: Nice writing style, keep up the good work and Be good :-)
no not a big dylan fan ...but more of Dave Matthews Band. By the way that song 'all along the watchtower' has been sung by more than 40 groups...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Along_The_Watchtower
for more details...
He He. Looks like these people are driving you up the wall. On days when I have time, I enjoy these conversations. I try selling airtel services to a hutch guy, convince a headhunter to seriously consider my counter offer :)
And havent you come across those simple looking people at traffic lights wanting to sell you cheap copies of "You can win" and "Seven habits of effective people"
brilliant...absolutely brilliant
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