We were having lunch last week when we heard about the Shiney Ahuja rape case. "Why a maid, when he just had to bat his eyes at me", a friend joked, and we laughed in agreement. We thought it was a frame-up or the latest media grabbing breaking news. But when there appeared to be some truth to the charge, our immediate reaction echoed the sentiment that has dominated public space - what was the need to do it with a maid when he could have put one in with virtually any girl (of better social standing than a maid - but that was the part that's left unsaid).
But this post isn't about class distinctions. This post is about Shiney' loyal wife - Anupam. A wife who has been in a long distance relationship with her husband for the past several years. An educated and successful career woman who has by now mastered the art of turning the other way on reports of her husband's affairs. But a woman, who, despite being 10,000 km away in New York, can state with conviction that her husband is incapable of committing such an act and is being framed. A conviction that every perfect wife has uttered over the past zillions of years, the honorable US Secretary of State included.
I can't understand women like her. I can understand the need to stand by your partner and forgive his infidelities, but this is rape for chrissake! What, I wonder, would she have said if Shiney was accused of raping her sister? In all probability, she would have still supported her husband. When will we women break away from these misplaced shackles of loyalty and duty, and learn to stand up for the truth instead? Why couldn't Anupam say something like - I find it difficult to believe that my husband committed such a crime, but I will let the law decide. And if he is found guilty, I will publicly condone the act - for I can understand a man who cheats, but I cannot understand a man who has to force himself upon a helpless little girl to satisfy his urges.
But that is not what good wives do.
4 comments:
you know, the moment I heard this news I had my bit of schadenfreude , and tell your friend that she is not alone in wishful thinking.
About the wife, it's sad that she came out like a incredulous wife who can't see any fact, reason or supporting evidence. What bugged me even more when people like Rupa Ganguli were on TV defending him saying he never looked at her like a 'rapist'. Has she not heard the maxim "There is always a first time"
Hina - How about Jenny Sanford - the wife of South Carolina Gov Mark Sanford.
She was a successful Wall Street executive (M&A expert) and when her husband decided to get into politics, she slogged like crazy to get him elected.
For her wonderful service to get the Gov job (not to forget 4 beautiful children), the Gov returns favor by engaging in a long-distance relationship with a Argentine beauty. And Jenny puts out a statement quoting scriptures!
I humbly submit that women tend to entangle themselves. Jenny should have thrown this sorry man out of her life (just the way Hillary should have kicked Bill!) and gone back to work. That would have shown the power of women. Instead, we get a statement quoting scriptures!
TLOB,Anon, ure right - we bring it upon ourselves and we make it more difficult for fellow-women to take a stand...still havent been able to figure out why.
and maybe its easy for me to indulge in arm chair critism...who knows what i wuda done if i was to be in a similar situation - though I hope as hell that I have the guts to walk out
Knowing you the way i know, Hina - you would walk out. I have no doubts about that one.
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